Taboos

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DownUnderNZer
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Taboos

Post by DownUnderNZer » 13 Dec 2017, 02:33

TABOOS


What would you consider taboos when it comes to your card readings and even other readers when they read?.

For example, some doing third-party readings would be fine with it and others dead set against it. Touchy subjects for some might be death whereas others it might be extra marital affairs. Maybe both!

But one reader's reason for not touching on a subject could be totally different to why another reader does or does not.

So, what are taboos for you and why? And also why would it be frowned upon if other readers chose to do it - or not.
Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance. W. Clement Stone

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Ghandi.

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DownUnderNZer
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Re: Taboos

Post by DownUnderNZer » 13 Dec 2017, 02:46

DEATH: I learned not to discuss death although if I see it - I see it. Does not mean I share it.
THIRD PARTY: Depends. I will not look at someone like a fantasy or someone not really in the person's life. If a querent wanted to know about her boss's thoughts towards her - fine. Not if the boss was having an affair.
EXTRAMARITAL: Maybe not unless it comes up in the cards and a querent wants to know about the relationship itself. Not necessarily as an affair either. If a GT shows it plain and clear I will say it, but I do make sure to check it thoroughly and I do try to be as tactful as possible. Sometimes I will do it in a roundabout way.

DIRECT: It shows her/him with another woman. He has cheated on you.
INDIRECT: S/he is the type to play the field or wants to sow her/his wild oats.

Most times the querent will come out with: "Yes, s/he has cheated on me and that is why....".

I suppose for me the taboos depend on the day and on the querent, but most times I will not talk about Death even if it comes up nor anything that I do not feel is anyone else's business. Like I remember a time not so long ago where someone wanted to know why someone committed suicide and I did not feel it was that person's (nor mine) business. I let that person know it as well.
Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance. W. Clement Stone

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Ghandi.

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Barleywine
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Re: Taboos

Post by Barleywine » 13 Dec 2017, 06:12

To recap what I used to say all the time when this question came up on AT:

In most cases, I don't want to know the sitter's question in advance (the Golden Dawn/Aleister Crowley approach also suggested by Eden Gray ), so they can focus silently on whatever they want and the cards will speak directly to that during the shuffle. Obviously, on-line remote reading where I shuffle the deck for an absent sitter is pretty much off-limits for me, since it's perilously close to a psychic fishing expedition. My belief that subconscious induction is the operating principle behind "how tarot works" demands that the sitter handle the cards.

I try to stay away from mind-reading attempts of the psychological profiling variety that are aimed at determining what some unaware third-party "thinks or feels" about the sitter. Of course, if I don't know the question, the sitter will get whatever answer they subconsciously induce into the cards; if they strongly suspect that "X" has no reason to love them (or even think about them), that's what they'll see. I like to avoid catering to "wishful thinking" if I can, but self-delusion on the part of the sitter is always a possibility. This is where an interactive dialogue with the sitter during the reading is vital to success.

An excessive amount of intuitive guesswork where the size of the spread is insufficient for the scope of the question also makes me uncomfortable. For example, doing a "life-reading" with three cards doesn't work well for me; I like larger layouts for most purposes

I've decided, after more than a year of experience with public sessions, that 15 or 20-minute readings don't do justice to my reading style, so I'm edging away from doing them. Half-an-hour or 45 minutes is a more comfortable fit.

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DownUnderNZer
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Re: Taboos

Post by DownUnderNZer » 13 Dec 2017, 10:22

So, questions are a taboo?

Never been in a reading where no questions were asked, but have been in some where the sitter would not answer a lot or until the very end.

Namely, my sister.

I think to give a good enough reading there should be no time limits.

Back to taboos...

I know my mother took my brother to this reader years ago who had all kinds of things dangling off of a tree outside in the front. Even bones! My brother did not want to get out of the car and was absolutely petrified.

That woman definitely had rules, and one of them was not to touch or take anything from that tree as she considered it sacred. I am sure she wanted something of my brother's to put there as well.

Not about reading something taboo, but something taboo in her personal environment.

Barleywine wrote:
13 Dec 2017, 06:12
To recap what I used to say all the time when this question came up on AT:

In most cases, I don't want to know the sitter's question in advance (the Golden Dawn/Aleister Crowley approach also suggested by Eden Gray ), so they can focus silently on whatever they want and the cards will speak directly to that during the shuffle. Obviously, on-line remote reading where I shuffle the deck for an absent sitter is pretty much off-limits for me, since it's perilously close to a psychic fishing expedition. My belief that subconscious induction is the operating principle behind "how tarot works" demands that the sitter handle the cards.

I try to stay away from mind-reading attempts of the psychological profiling variety that are aimed at determining what some unaware third-party "thinks or feels" about the sitter. Of course, if I don't know the question, the sitter will get whatever answer they subconsciously induce into the cards; if they strongly suspect that "X" has no reason to love them (or even think about them), that's what they'll see. I like to avoid catering to "wishful thinking" if I can, but self-delusion on the part of the sitter is always a possibility. This is where an interactive dialogue with the sitter during the reading is vital to success.

An excessive amount of intuitive guesswork where the size of the spread is insufficient for the scope of the question also makes me uncomfortable. For example, doing a "life-reading" with three cards doesn't work well for me; I like larger layouts for most purposes

I've decided, after more than a year of experience with public sessions, that 15 or 20-minute readings don't do justice to my reading style, so I'm edging away from doing them. Half-an-hour or 45 minutes is a more comfortable fit.
Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance. W. Clement Stone

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Ghandi.

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CharlotteK
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Re: Taboos

Post by CharlotteK » 13 Dec 2017, 13:37

I'm not a professional so don't read often for other people. To date I've not refused a question but I don't have the appetite for questions like "what does A think of me?" Or "is C cheating on D?". Two reasons really - one, I don't honestly think I can answer this kind of question with any degree of accuracy and confidence and two, it feels icky. Health diagnosis or concrete medical advice also a BIG "no" although something like "what more can I do to help myself to live a healthier lifestyle?" I would have a bash at.

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SEELE-01
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Re: Taboos

Post by SEELE-01 » 13 Dec 2017, 21:29

It is an interesting question for me, because
A) I've never been in a situation where anyone has asked me about the subjects mentioned so far and
B) The tarot school I was taught in does not do well with direct questions

About "B", for example: a variation of this 2-choice-outcome spread, for example, was completely alien to me [I didn't even know it was possible] until I needed it and searched for it...

I suppose that if need arises, and if the direct question comes I will answer to the best of my skill.

Things I would say no to are reading for an abset third person or inquiring death, because I know those subjects can turn morbid very quickly.

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DownUnderNZer
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Re: Taboos

Post by DownUnderNZer » 14 Dec 2017, 00:41

On AT when I was learning the Tarot I went through a phase of "what does so and so think of " for a few others and myself - maybe for about 4 to 6 months. All kinds of questions, but some of the questions were about feelings and even from different angles. However, it was about real people and current interactions, not someone no longer there or an ex from 10 years ago. Mind you, one person was fixated on a man from a bus stop once and no one was the wiser until it came out after the reading. I did the Lenormand on that one and to be honest I saw NOTHING. There was no relationship and I did say that it was null, void, nada, nothing. It came out, more or less, that their eyes had interlocked fleetingly from across the street at different bus stops. So, nothing but pure fanciful fantasy. :icon_eek: :icon_evil: :icon_eek: :icon_evil: :icon_eek:


The difference with me was I did not carry on asking the same questions like some do for years and years. I learned a lot as a sitter and as a reader, but also how others read which was rather educational and important. I do not think it is healthy or beneficial for someone to be asking the same questions in hope of something changing when it is unlikely to change nor if it is about someone they do not even interact with at all. And as for he reader, s/he should not be the band-aid or supporting that carry on as it isnt doing anyone any favors.

I will look at health, but if I see something really bad I would not say it. Doctors are there for a reason and are medically trained.

CharlotteK wrote:
13 Dec 2017, 13:37
I'm not a professional so don't read often for other people. To date I've not refused a question but I don't have the appetite for questions like "what does A think of me?" Or "is C cheating on D?". Two reasons really - one, I don't honestly think I can answer this kind of question with any degree of accuracy and confidence and two, it feels icky. Health diagnosis or concrete medical advice also a BIG "no" although something like "what more can I do to help myself to live a healthier lifestyle?" I would have a bash at.
Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance. W. Clement Stone

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Ghandi.

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DownUnderNZer
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Re: Taboos

Post by DownUnderNZer » 14 Dec 2017, 01:00

I think I have only ever been asked once about death, but the man in question was already diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor and was a few months living passed the month he was given to die by his doctors. I was able to bring it down to August/September which was about 4 months after I did the reading, He died near the end of August.

In general, I will not do readings on death, but that time was an exception and for a good friend of mine that wanted to know about her ex-husband. It was not coming from bitterness or a bad place, but one of complete exhaustion and concern for their daughter.

As for the other times - all with the Lenormand and mostly in the GT. Not asked, but there whether you wanted to see it or not.

And one time when I was looking just at Health in a spread of five cards with the TREE as a focus card I saw it and knew it because the COFFIN was in it and next to the TREE. Will have to find the email I did to my sister as the cards I selected exactly would be in it.

Morbid?

With my friend, it was not morbid at all, but more of a relief for her and a timeline to work with I suppose even though it could have gone South as an answer. It did not thank goodness, but it could have. As for the HEALTH one - I never told the person what I really saw, just my sister, and then that friend's husband some months after she passed. That was a really hard one to sit on and made me feel guilty for a long time, but it was the right thing to do.

The choices we make as humans and as readers are all a part of life.....

SEELE-01 wrote:
13 Dec 2017, 21:29
It is an interesting question for me, because
A) I've never been in a situation where anyone has asked me about the subjects mentioned so far and
B) The tarot school I was taught in does not do well with direct questions

About "B", for example: a variation of this 2-choice-outcome spread, for example, was completely alien to me [I didn't even know it was possible] until I needed it and searched for it...

I suppose that if need arises, and if the direct question comes I will answer to the best of my skill.

Things I would say no to are reading for an abset third person or inquiring death, because I know those subjects can turn morbid very quickly.
Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance. W. Clement Stone

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Ghandi.

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Barleywine
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Re: Taboos

Post by Barleywine » 14 Dec 2017, 05:22

DownUnderNZer wrote:
13 Dec 2017, 10:22
So, questions are a taboo?
No, not having a specific question to stimulate my own subconscious impressions (and preconceptions) liberates me from several other taboos.

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SEELE-01
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Re: Taboos

Post by SEELE-01 » 14 Dec 2017, 12:02

DownUnderNZer wrote:
14 Dec 2017, 01:00
I think I have only ever been asked once about death, but the man in question was already diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor and was a few months living passed the month he was given to die by his doctors. I was able to bring it down to August/September which was about 4 months after I did the reading, He died near the end of August.
Wow, that's very hard...
I suppose if need arised I would consider it on a case-by-case basis

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