Faking smiles

But not politics

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Falkor
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Joined: 06 Jul 2017, 13:57

Faking smiles

Post by Falkor »

Do you think it works for you? Makes you to feel better? If yes how? If now why?

Why people keep demanding us to smile(and fake it themselves) when we don't feel like it? When we stressed/annoyed/sad?

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Joan Marie

Re: Faking smiles

Post by Joan Marie »

I once spent an entire day at the hospital with my family not knowing if my mom was going to live or die. I had been through every emotion there was, with a bunch of people I love doing the same. At the end of the day on my way home, exhausted in every way, I stopped at a convenience store to get something. I was okay. Just not satisfying the clerk's expectation for cheery banter at 11pm, and he chortled at me, "Hey why don't you smile, Nothing could be THAT bad!"

If it is someone who knows you and loves you that says it, maybe they are concerned about you.
But 99% of the time it's a total stranger that does that, that tells you you should smile. It's rude.
If it's someone you do kind of know, it's their weak attempt at conversation. Still rude.

Smiling is not the only indication of happiness. And happiness is not the only feeling there is to experience.

There are people who are so insecure they can't handle it when other people don't smile at them. Seriously. They are so disconnected from themselves they don't know how to let others be themselves. It's a bit sad really.

I used to get angry. My response to the convenience store clerk was, "How the **** would you know?"
Now I just look right at them and say, "Sorry to disappoint you." Sometimes I smile when I say it. Because I think it's funny. Sometimes not. My choice.

One reason you should NEVER tell a stranger to smile is you cannot know what they may be going through in a given moment. It's maybe nothing. They may be thinking and don't owe you an explanation. Or it may be something awful, and if they tell you, you will feel like an idiot.

It's so much better to just show kindness to people and not try to tell them how to feel. Think about someone who made you smile when you were sad by just being sweet or tender or funny. That's the kind of genuine interaction we should all be aiming for in life.

And by the way, to fake a smile when you don't want to, feels really really crappy. You are letting someone force you to be inauthentic.

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Barleywine
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Re: Faking smiles

Post by Barleywine »

Like this?


Image

My brother-in-law was visiting at my brother's place one time and got so drunk he had to throw up. When he did, his false teeth fell into the toilet. My brother said it gave a whole new meaning to "shit-eating grin." :Cool:

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DDwarks
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Re: Faking smiles

Post by DDwarks »

Oh Barley :botanik:

The act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits your health and happiness. ... The feel good neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins and serotonin are all released when a smile flashes across your face as well.

I have to say I'm one of those annoying people that smile even when I'm crying!
I even went through a phase of saying "I'm extremely well thank you very much", when asked how I was.
After the initial disgust at my external mood, it made people drop their attitude....and smile back (which made it easier for me to carry on smiling).

I wouldn't call it a fake smile though. Its more like a self soothing blanket.
It kind of forces me to look for the good/happy.

I'd be an alcoholic if it wasnt for this technique!
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

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Jo Ann
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Re: Faking smiles

Post by Jo Ann »

Laughing is even better, just not over the toilet.

When you have sad/bad issue and you look at people who are smilely makes you feel worse, but if you see people laughing or smiling it makes you feel better. The person laughing and smiling is feeling better for it to..it has to do with brain chemicals and survival. @onion5@
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Nemia
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Re: Faking smiles

Post by Nemia »

I have a resting bitch face and it's so bad nobody ever tells me to smile - probably afraid I'd tear off their heads ;-)

And I find artificial smiles annoying. I know the theory that faking the smile makes you happier but I prefer to do something that really makes me happier first and THEN smile.

I don't expect others to plaster a generic smile on their faces for me and I don't do so myself. When I smile, I mean it. But I come from a culture where smiles are not expected everywhere and all the time.

Oh I remember now, when I was around 20, I came back from the burial of a much beloved childhood friend and went to a bakery on my way home. The bakery guy told me to cheer up. I didn't answer but it was horrible, I was so sad. I never went back to that bakery again. But that was more than 30 years ago and since then, nobody ever dared to tell me SMILE. I think the best answer would be "I smile if you shut up". Obnoxious people!

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Joan Marie

Re: Faking smiles

Post by Joan Marie »

Image

Click on it to appreciate...

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CharlotteK
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Re: Faking smiles

Post by CharlotteK »

Fake smiles? No thanks. They might actually be bad for you :biggrin:

https://mind-hacks.wonderhowto.com/how- ... y-0157455/

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Cenozoic
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Re: Faking smiles

Post by Cenozoic »

Fake smiles are deceptive, and doesn't made me feel better. What works is to watch comedies, bloopers, and funny moments. That cheers everyone up. :trans5:

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