Maybon Ritual Meditation.. I need help please.

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LadyKathryn
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Maybon Ritual Meditation.. I need help please.

Post by LadyKathryn » 25 Sep 2017, 12:11

Hi there Lovelies :)

I joined a group on facebook, they do online free full moon, new moon , i guess the witches Sabbaths rituals as well. I joined them for the new moon ritual and then the Maybon one on Friday.
I had a rather intense meditation that I've since tried to do a reading about it and meditated on it. I've had zero results on the meaning of it. I'd love any ideas please.

One of the themes that keeps popping up for me is trust. So i do wonder if it has to do with trust? I'm not sure. It doesn't fit for me. I'm going to explain the meditation we had to do (visualization) that we had been given to start with.

So Maybon is the fall equinox- equal light and shadow and equal night and day.

the point of meditation was to give and receive a gift from light and to give and receive a gift from shadow. Intent was to serve the greater good but also to heal. Virgo is service to others as well as healing and service to self. what in our lives need balance and healing.

The following will be intensely personal. I am fine with sharing it obviously- but not everyone wishes to read it. I've shared details of my life before, and for me i'm not harping or dwelling on the past- I have survived many many atrocities and this is from my potions as survivor and warrior- a telling, a healing- not a dwelling. Our pasts do shape us. I focus on future and present, on healing and growth and understanding. So that said... either go no further, or please do read on.

the set up to the meditation was sit with palms open... with our left hand we are giving energy to the universe, and with our right we are receiving it. (Right is female and receptive) I find it interesting that i have major third degree burn scars on my right arm and chest... and in my natal chart i have Chiron in Taurus in the second house. :trans12: (Trust issues due to physical abuse? and thus Trust in self? - also have fibromyalgia which i would relate to not trusting self (my own body) to support me) *i'm just going to break down sobbing over here in a corner*

We were asked to imagine we were in a feild. Our meditation guide picked a rather Elysian fields setting, but I of course wound up in my rather more celtic background setting. Grassy feild (felt kind of like a pumpkin patch... but that idea passed kind of quickly. I was in an opening surrounded by huge old ancient trees. It was night time and i could smell the crisp fall air.. the smell of dry leaves and cool nights and it felt like i could smell the very fabric of time.

So now we are asked to choose our gift to light. I won't go into explaining WHY i chose what I did. I don't want to break any ethical rules of my teacher even though it was a free live event, I feel like i wouldn't do her words justice.

So I gave my gift without seeing any guides or visions other than the field. But I gave my Love and my unending Hope and my Art to light. so i waited for a moment, and suddenly.. my ex Maria appears. Now inwardly i groan and think ok I'm making stuff up again... (its a battle i face... again trust... that am i actually having a vision or am i making things up?) But Immediately as i have that thought.. my Head Spirit Guide shows up. I don't see her often... she really only shows up in deep duress, like my life is endangered duress. She was with me a lot as a child, and i haven't seen her since.- I'm not saying Maria puts my life in danger...but I've been sick since Maria left.... my will has dissipated, my energy, my passion, my optimism and my hope. My will to live.. to TRY has fled)
So when she showed up... I knew i wasn't making things up. That i needed to listen and pay attention. So They move towards me. and in my left hand my SG puts my ex's (Maria) hand into my left hand. In my right hand she puts a red cord necklace. (I bought two necklaces one for me and one for maria. its the red line of fate or destiny- Maria used to tell me she believed we were tied together by the red line of fate. I believe it's a Chinese myth that the gods tie a red string around the fingers or wrists of soul mates who belong together in this life... anyway i had bought one for her and one for me back when we were dating) Then my SG puts my right hand over Maria's hand in my left hand and closes our hands with the necklace entwined) and she SG enclosed our hands in hers. I'm of course sobbing in the real world. In the vision i'm just kind of quiet. Its' weird being in two places at once. I thank my SG and then it's time for Shadow.

So shadow appears as just that.. shadow.. it felt like my step father (the one who tried to kill himself...and then many years later.. me. I wasn't born when he tried to commit suicide, but i have actually SEEN the even. Its strange but I did know about it. Many years later I talked to my birth mother about it. My step father is a large part of the reason i was put up for adoption) but that thought passed quickly. So shadow walks up to me and I gift to shadow My rage, and my ability to survive. (I should explain that gifting these to the universe does not diminish my ability to survive nor does it take away my rage) In my left hand... my gift from Shadow ... was BLOOD. ?1?1?1?!?!?!


So WTF? i have no idea what that means. it feels powerful and important. But i have zero idea. I assume that because it's a gift.. it's not asking me to sacrifice. I have sacrificed so much for others... so i don't feel like it's asking me to do that.
I'm not sure if the light and the shadow's gift relate to one another... or if they don't. I'm just plain confused by it.

I had shuffled cards asking about it.. and 9 of them fell out.

So i placed them out in rows of 3 *not sure why*

3 of swords/ Knight of Swords/ 3 of Pentacles
Knight of Cups/ 4 of Wands/ 8 of swords
World/ Tower/ Heirophant

they just look like pretty cards to me... no meaning in my current state. - I'm trying to relate these cards TO the meditation vision. as to what the meditation means.. and i'm just drained and stumped.


Please and thank you in advance for any insights. Or if anyone has any ideas on what blood would signify.


So i've been doing research on the spiritual meaning of blood. ... looks like it means LOVE.. and or SOUL.

"As the nature of all things is determined by that of the man of whom they are predicated, so also is the signification of "blood." Relatively to the regenerate spiritual man, "blood" signifies charity, or love toward the neighbor; relatively to the regenerate celestial man it signifies love to the Lord; but relatively to the Lord it signifies all His Human essence, consequently Love itself, that is, His mercy toward the human race. Hence "blood," in general, because it signifies love and what is of love, signifies celestial things, which are of the Lord alone; and thus relatively to man the celestial things which he receives from the Lord. The celestial things which the regenerate spiritual man receives from the Lord, are celestial spiritual-of which, by the Divine mercy of the Lord, elsewhere.- I will set My faces against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people; for the soul of the flesh is in the blood; and I have given it to you upon the altar, to make atonement for your souls; for it is the blood that maketh atonement for the soul. The soul of all flesh, it is the blood thereof; whosoever eateth it shall be cut off (Lev. 17:10, 11, 14).

Here it is plainly shown that the soul of the flesh is in the blood, and that the soul of the flesh is the blood, or the celestial, that is, the holy, which is the Lord's.

[5] Again:--"

So to think of the light and the shadow together... are they really telling me about me and maria? why give me her hand? its rather confusing..and honestly i'm rather peeved with her at the moment. *snorts in taurus fashion*
Last edited by LadyKathryn on 26 Sep 2017, 12:12, edited 1 time in total.

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theFeeLion
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Re: Maybon Ritual Meditation.. I need help please.

Post by theFeeLion » 25 Sep 2017, 15:02

I am posting quickly before I have to go to work and intend to post more fully later this evening...

My first impression about the gift from Shadow of blood is that all you have been through (including loosing real blood of your own) has been a way for you learn (however horrifically) about yourself (and others).

I will hopefully post more tonight for you once I have had a look at those cards properly

:heart: Fee
Come faeries take me out of this dull world. For I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame. - W B Yeats

May you touch dragonflies and stars, dance with faeries and talk to the moon. - Unknown

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LadyKathryn
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Re: Maybon Ritual Meditation.. I need help please.

Post by LadyKathryn » 26 Sep 2017, 12:13

theFeeLion wrote:
25 Sep 2017, 15:02
I am posting quickly before I have to go to work and intend to post more fully later this evening...

My first impression about the gift from Shadow of blood is that all you have been through (including loosing real blood of your own) has been a way for you learn (however horrifically) about yourself (and others).

I will hopefully post more tonight for you once I have had a look at those cards properly

:heart: Fee

Thank you fee. and yes i suppose i am learning.. no real rush.. just using this place as a way to really track my thoughts and meditations and what not.i tend to lose them in a journal and well ithelps to reach out to the community.

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